I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
