I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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