Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
