8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
