You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
