Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
