Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize