I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
