I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
