i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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