Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
