yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
