he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Randomize
