i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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