So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Someone came in the potted fern
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
