I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
