Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
