Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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