I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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