I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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