I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
