I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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