you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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