One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
