I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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