Plan B is the new Plan A
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
