Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
