y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
