Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
