Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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