actually, I'm a sock model
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
