Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
this is an emotional support booty call
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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