If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We talked him into tasing himself.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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