There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
