best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
