party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
