If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
