Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
