so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
