so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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