I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
