According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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