ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
soo... how was my night?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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