have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize