You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
