i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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