I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
