Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
All I want is dick and wine.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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