big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
