i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
time to smoke my breakfast
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
