Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
