Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
