Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
