so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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