I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
