kristin has been a bad kristin
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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