good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
