Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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