went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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