You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Let's paint friendship bongs
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
